Dear Daniel

Dear Daniel,

I think this 4th of July I learned that "celebration" days without you are going to be tough for awhile. Maybe forever.  They are definitely forever changed.  We all miss you so much.  And while we know that you are okay, our family is trying to find our way with your absence being ever so obvious.  But on holidays, birthdays, celebration days your absence is most unbearable.  How are we supposed to celebrate as a family with one of us forever missing?  At first I thought it might just be me.  But on Monday when every one of your brothers and sisters struggled in their own way, I knew it was not.  It's all of us.  We love you.  We long to see you come running around the corner.  I long to have you pull me away from whatever I need to do.  I miss having you in the middle of whatever I am doing.

As I was running yesterday, I listened to the Neon Steeple Album straight through for the first time since you had gone to be with Jesus.  As I listened to the words of "Here's My Heart" that lead into the "Steeple Outro" I was washed over with the reminder of how tenderly and lovingly you are cared for by Jesus, how much we all have been.  Sometimes how much I miss you blinds me to this.  I know that Jesus will not leave us in our time of great need.  And I am so thankful that you are presently with Him.  The only One who could love you more than me.

Daniel.

We will keep on.  One moment at a time.  Trying to find our way.  Always honoring your memory.  Whenever we talk about you we all end up laughing, sometimes through tears.  Our minds are filled with that sweet smile and fun, loving, silly, joyful personality.  Thank you for leaving us with so much to remember.  To talk about.

I am so thankful I got to be your mommy.

I miss you.  I could write all day, but the needs of the present (like your constantly hungry teenage brothers :)) must stop me for now.  I hope you are having a great day with Jesus.  Say "hi" to Dr. P.

Looking forward to the day I will see you again,
Mommy