It was Easter Sunday. Our Easter tradition has become to eat "Family Style" at Maggiano's. Last year, since Daniel was in the hospital, the kids and I picked up our Maggiano's meal to go with the promise that we would still dine in when Daniel came home. We found a few tables in the lower level of the hospital and made the best of it...
After we ate, we headed out to the courtyard to play. My kids soon found a way to play a "baseball" game in the tiny courtyard at the Children's Hospital. They even argued about a few calls to make us really feel at home...
Daniel and I sat on the side lines and cheered most of the time. Etched in my memory is the look on his face as he watched his brothers and sisters play. He was so happy. The sparkle in his eye, the smile, he was just so content. It was like he knew it was the last time and he was just taking it all in. These last moments together have been some of the most treasured because of my memory of the look on his face...
Whenever Daniel did have the energy to bat, the kids paused their game and all attention was on him. One of Daniel's most favorite things was playing "ball"...
Brent even got one more great "BAAALLLLL"...
That was their thing.
And I love these photos I got with Lizzy. They hang in her room now with the memory that this was the last time they were together...
I also got my 5 kiddos together to take a photo...
And one with me...
We buried Daniel in that shirt we gave him. It says "Greatest Brother Ever". I have often wondered since Daniel passed away, "Would I have wanted to know this was our last night together?" And the conclusion I have come to over and over is that I am certain I would not want to know. I would not have enjoyed the afternoon and evening like I did. I would not have been fully present. I would not have been okay with imperfect photos or the big kids arguing in the courtyard. I would not have wanted to know.
I am so thankful we had this last night together as a family. I treasure the memories. I hold them close to my heart. I wish I could go back...even if just for a moment. Reliving them has brought an abundance of tears, but also deep gratitude and joy in the sweetness of the day.
As I was typing this out tonight, Matt Hammitt's "Trust" came on my music shuffle. The words speak well for me today, so I thought I would share the song here. Please pray for us, walking through the last days of Daniel's life again has been harder than I anticipated.
If we had to have one last night together, I love that it was the day we celebrate our risen Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ. Our hope. Our faith in Him gives us assurance that we will one day be together again. One day.
Love you forever Daniel. I cannot wait to see you again.
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